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We've been friends with a woman, who has faced and conquered many challenges, and I respect her for that. But, she's often blindsided by people. Her husband left her, which came as a massive blow. A lot of her social circle vanished then, because they seemed drawn to him. It shocked her. She made greater energy in our friendship, and must have realised more clearly what friendship was.

A Recurring Theme of Disappearance

Throughout this period, quite a few of her friends vanished leaving her knowing the cause. Her previous job became hostile, although she was very skilled at her work, her exit happened without knowing why things shifted.

Present Situation

Lately, we've both stepped back from work so we're spending time together, however, I feel my role in our friendship feels one-sided. I start topics of conversation only for her to redirect them to things she cares about. In terms of politics, she holds firm beliefs. My effort is to propose factchecking or other angles.

She has been arranging a vacation abroad I know well many times even called home for a while. My intention was to provide insights, yet it was unappreciated. She really just desired me to confirm her decisions. I recently returned from 30 days in that country she hopes to catch up, but I don't.

Considering the Choices

I don't want to act as a friend that walks away without a word, but I don't think she'll truly comprehend the effect of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. At this point, I find myself in pulling back. How should I proceed?

Possible Paths

You could cut and run, however, that approach is rarely a smooth outcome that we desire. However, addressing it with a view to a solution takes courage and readiness from both people.

Professional advice indicates using a effective method for resolving disputes:

"The first step involves describing how things go during your discussions. This needs to be as factual as possible and essentially what a recording device would replay. The second is to tell how this makes you feel. There should be no disagreement on this point. Your feelings belong to you, of course. Step three is to question how the two of you can shift the dynamics of your friendship."

Consider she too holds perspectives, meaning you must to stay open to acknowledge it. A helpful technique involves stating her:

"Now you talk and I'm going to listen without interrupting for 30 minutes."

It's wildly successful for promoting understanding.

Key Takeaways

This person might reject all you say, as some people cling to a self-protecting mindset: they have a version regarding their experiences they won't let go of since their identity is tied to it and it's all they trust. This is difficult because there's no easy route with these people, only cul-de-sacs. But she may initially present defensively then consider about what you've said. And even if a resolution isn't found an agreement, it provides closure from having been honest with her.